Freudian Dreams
by Phoenix-chan
Summary: Before Mahanon, Fei and Id have a little mental chat...


Freudian Dreams

Author's Notes:  This spawned out of me thinking about how damn Freudian Fei's relationship with Elly is, when you come right down to it.  And since Id has all of the memories of the Contact… well then he would certainly pick up on this.  Anyway, this takes place in Fei's head the night before he and the party go to Mahanon.  Enjoy.

            Fei whirled around, looking at his surroundings.  He must be asleep.  He remembered consoling Elly in her room, and now… Now he was in the room in his head where he had been countless times in his dreams.  Id's room.

            "What does he want?" Fei murmured, looking around, before his eyes alighted on Id, who was sprawled out across a lumpy looking cow-upholstered couch.  The couch made Fei question Id's sanity more than he already did.

            "What do I want?"  Id asked, his voice full of taunting.  "I think the better question, Fei, is what do YOU want?  After all, haven't you realized it yet?"

            "Realized what?"  Fei asked, confusion clear in his eyes.

            Id snorted.  "You wouldn't have realized it, would you?  Wouldn't have realized what she is.  What she's meant to be.  What purpose was she created for?"  

            Fei blinked at Id's tone.  "If I didn't know better, I'd say you were jealous."

            "Jealous of you?  I'd just as soon be jealous of the Coward.  I'm not the one fucking my MOM."

            Fei blinked at Id, before backing up a few steps.  "What are you talking about Id?  You really are psychotic.  My mother is dead.  It happened…" Fei trailed off.  He couldn't place the memory.

            The redhead sighed.  "I'm not talking about Karen, Fei.  I hold the memories.  I control what you remember.  I've told you that.  I've told you many things when I bring you here.  You never remember them when you wake though.  I've made sure of that."

            "Then why bother telling me?"

            "Because," Id began, as he got up from the couch and began a short stroll over to Fei, "It's either talk to you or talk to the Coward.  And I hate being in the same body as him."  

The last word was whispered in Fei's ear, causing Fei to recoil a little from Id.  Id just grinned and moved a little closer to Fei.

"Id, what are you doing?"

"Don't you want to play?"

"What are you talking about?  You're talking in riddles again.  And you still haven't told me what you mean when you said I was fu…sleeping with my mother."

"Poor Oedipus.  You'll find out soon enough."  And with that, Id placed a kiss that could almost be considered tender on Fei's lips.

In his sleep, Fei tossed and turned a little, and Elly, who was still awake watched him struggle.  She stroked his hair, trying to calm him.

"Sleep, Fei.  Rest well.  You need it," she murmured, trying to soothe him.  "I'm staying behind in the morning for you.  So I can guard you while you sleep."

And after what seemed like a long time, Fei DID calm down again.  But not before clutching Elly a little tighter in his sleep.

Back in his mind, Fei had finally managed to pull away from Id, but by the time he did, he was rather flushed.

"Id what kind of trick is this?!  Some kind of new mindgame?!"

"Not at all, Fei.  You like it after all.  You just never remember it."

"I do NOT like it."

"Oh but you do," Id whispered, trailing a pale hand down Fei's body.  "After all, we share a body.  If you think about it, it's almost like glorified masturbation.  But so much more fun."

Fei squirmed under Id's hand, his body reacting to the redhead's touch.  He was flushed with heat, and he was getting embarrassingly, yet undeniably turned on by Id's touches.  So light, yet Fei could feel the strength in Id's hands.

"Id…" was the only word that escaped Fei's lips.

"Relax.  I'll tell you everything you need to know after we have a little fun.  After all, since Melchior gave you that damn wristband, it makes it almost impossible for me to talk to you, even like this.  Even this far in your mind, where the Coward, that Solaris bitch, or even the good doctor himself can't get to."

Id's hands continued roaming Fei's body, and Fei found himself surrendering to Id, as the redhead led him to the couch.  

When it was over, Id was trailing his hands through Fei's hair, and the young painter was lying against him.

"I told you, you like it," Id purred.

"I don't," Fei said quietly, tears in his eyes.  "I just… with Elly… I didn't want to do this with you."

"It didn't sound that way to me.  And about Elly… she really is what we need to talk about."

"What do you mean?"

"I tried to tell you when you crashed in Weltall.  I tried to show you what she was, who she was then.  All you ended up getting out of it was half-remembered dreams of being Lacan."  Id snorted softly.  "And even then, it wasn't the GOOD parts about being Lacan."

"What are you talking about, Id?  Enough games.  Just tell me already."

"It's not important.  You may remember in time.  We need to talk about Elly.  Now.  Before you go to Mahanon.  Before you could possibly die without knowing the truth about her."

"What's so important?  Why are you so interested in Elly?"

"If you think about it, the whole thing is rather quite Freudian," Id began with a smirk.

"Oh, and this isn't?" Fei asked, gesturing to the position that he and Id were in.

"Touché.  However, you and her are worse.  After all, some people might just say that I'm a hallucination of your overactive imagination.  A particularly violent hallucination, maybe, but a hallucination all the same.  But Elly… she is the embodiment of every Freudian urge you ever had."

"Id, stop dancing around it and get on with it."

"Oh fine.  Once upon a time, there was a great spaceship coming towards this planet.  It was called the Eldridge.  It went out of control and crashed into this planet.  Onboard this ship was a little boy, named Abel.  When the ship started to crash, Abel was very scared, and he couldn't find his mother.  Now pay attention to this part, Fei, this is important.  While he was wanting his mother, Abel made contact with a presence called the 'Wave Existence.'  This existence made Abel a mother.  That mother was Elly.  And Abel was you."

"How do you KNOW all of this?"

"I told you, I have all the memories of the Contact.  Now, do you understand what I'm telling you?  Abel's desire for a mother caused the 'Wave Existence' to produce one for him.  Yet, that relationship turned into a lovey-dovey soulmate kind of relationship that you have with Elly now."  Id made a face.  "So essentially, you are screwing your mom.  Congratulations, Oedipus."

Fei just stared at Id for several long moments, as he tried to process this information.  "If I believe you, and I'm not saying that I do, why would you tell me all of this, Id?" he finally asked.

"Because you need to know.  And even if you don't remember it when you wake up, and trust me, I'll make sure you won't, the part of you that needs to remember will.  Your heart will remember.  And you'll know in your subconscious.  Will it keep you from sleeping with her again?  I don't know.  But I do know it will make you think twice about it."

"Dammit, Id, I love her!"

"I know you do.  But such a love is not healthy, Fei."

"And you call what you and I just did healthy?"

"I never said I loved you, now did I?"

Fei just stared at Id for a long moment, sensing he was on the verge of getting something rather important from the redheaded psycho.  "Then why bother telling me all of this?  Why bother bringing me here, just to make me forget all that you've told me."

The smile Id gave Fei then was almost sad.  "Because sometimes the things we don't remember are the most important things of all.  Now wake up.  It's time to go."  And with that Id pulled on Fei's ponytail, and sent the poor confused painter into the world of the waking.

Fei snapped awake in Elly's arms, looking around.  He had had a dream of… something.  He couldn't quite remember what.  All he knew was that as he looked at Elly laying peacefully in the bed next to him, he felt a feeling of dread and revulsion build up inside of him, and he couldn't quite understand why.  

The last thing he heard was childish laughter flitting through his mind as he got up to get dressed.  


End file.
